raisedinabox | 24 Sulk sulk sulk

Entry tags:

24 Sulk sulk sulk

Did anyone else get much chance to talk to the locals in that port? I couldn't help but find it ironic that their afterlife consisted of a seemingly endless journey towards an ephemeral end point.

[Jim sounds more or less calm, but there's a slight sharpness to his tone, as if something about this port left him feeling... just kind of generally unhappy.]

When I died, I was expecting my entire existence to come to an end. I find it... troubling that apparently spending your time embarking on futile tasks and endless journeys is a running theme when it comes to what happens after death, instead. Still, I suppose this place makes a lot more sense as a surreal punishment, than as a genuine attempt at creating some kind of reformation process.

[He sighs a slight sigh, before adding:]

And I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that a chewed up dog toy doesn't actually have any known use when it comes to spaceship repair?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I did a bit. It didn't seem so bad, actually. Like more of the same. Scraping up what you could before you went on to the next unknown. There's worse alternatives, I feel.

[Stop being philosophical, Stildyne. You're awful at it.]

Well, it's hardly torturous, but how many times do you think we'll have to go through that charade before we get to just... nothing? Before we get to real death?

No idea. But it wasn't a complete reset. We were... less alive, there. A halfway point, more than a retread.

That's true. At least it felt as though things there changed. The locals decayed. Although I hope they lost their minds before that process went too far...

[Stildyne is thinking of a worm skeleton, cheerfully inhabiting a bottle of tequila]

Maybe they don't need our kind of minds anymore, them.

I'm not going to say I enjoyed the feeling. But viewed as an alternative. [And given that he's getting up in years, and wondering what comes next.] It's almost heartening that there'll be a period of adjustment before you're plunged into nothing.

Maybe. If that's true though... then... what we become is something... I don't know, something alien to what we are now. Whatever our consciousness becomes, we won't be ourselves anymore. And maybe there is no nothingness for us to eventually be plunged into.

I'm sorry, I doubt this is making much sense, I just never found the thought of dying so disturbing.

No; makes sense to me. I try to only think on the parts of it that I had to handle to get the job done. Consider the advantages. But I can see a few sleepless nights on their way.

I can imagine. This place has a way of ruining your sleep patterns.

Was this something you had to think about a lot, before you came here?

Not really. Only recently I really took a moment to notice that I'm getting towards the end of my career as Fleet security. Could have shot for First Officer again, but circumstances intervened. Been too busy worrying about how I'd manage the rest of my life to consider past the end.

That was always my approach as well. Life's too short and it moves too fast for you to be focusing on what might happen afterward.

Not that I'm finding that philosophy particularly vindicated here.

So you were a security officer?

[He salutes neatly.] Chief Warrant Officer, Fleet Ship Ragnarok, Chief of Security.

You were in the Navy? [Jim smiles, projecting polite interest.] That's quite impressive. I never had the discipline for anything like that. It must have been an exciting life?

Not precisely: I wasn't planetbound. Fleet operates through all known space. Ragnarok was a cruiser-killer starship, not a boat. But it was all right. Got interesting scars. They fed me.

Oh! [Huh.] Interesting that in every future the earth seems to have lined up we end up fighting with the rest of the galaxy.

So, interesting scars? I'm guessing you saw a lot of action then?

If it's any consolation, Jurisdiction isn't currently at war with anyone. And a good thing, it still not being settled which of the Judiciaries gets the First Judgeship, now the incumbent's been murdered.

Last real war was with the Nurail. And I saw plenty of action there. Rode through some firefights with the Langsarik pirate fleet, too. But it's been decades since there's been anything close to a real war. If Combine hadn't affiliated when it did, they were almost big enough that it could have been nasty, but they trade as hard as they fight and the economic-- sorry, don't imagine you actually care. [Having been surprised into verbosity by something that shouldn't surprise him-- nobody knowing much about Jurisdiction-- he cuts himself off. Honestly: it's been months, why does he still wind up being taken aback at random moments that nobody else knows Supicor from Chilleau from a herd of Aznir riding sheep?]

[Jim pauses for a moment, he doesn't quite follow all of that, but it certainly sounds interesting.]

No, no, this is fascinating, I just.. I'm afraid I'm having a little trouble with the different factions you're talking about. Jurisdiction is where you're from, I take it?

Yes. The governing body over all of known space. There's Gonebeyond outside the borders, but that's not charted and they've been trying to pretend it's not an entity in and of itself. But it's been growing, the last few years.

[Talking about it is odd, in that it's simply a thing that's known for him. He's never had to explain from the beginning, except for the barge. It's novel.]

Nine judiciaries, nine judges. When the First Judge dies there's a convocation of the Bench to decide which Judiciary's judge will get promoted and with Judiciary will lead in politics this go-round.

It's a big thing, Jurisdiction. So when a system or two gets angry or a few worlds act up it's not precisely a real war. There's just too much of Fleet.

I doubt that the Admiral really needed any of those things. He was simply punishing us.

I think that's all this place is for some of us. Maybe some people are here because they can be redeemed, but I'm certain that for some of us, the illusion of hope and graduation is just an additional surreal level of punishment to this place.

I couldn't agree more. I occasionally think that even the inmates that graduate are just another carrot on a stick for the rest of us.

I sincerely doubt it either.

[Private]

And I expected much the same of death, if I'm honest. It doesn't feel like a surreal punishment to me, but I do suppose that's not your point. Even so, some of us not being 'punished' are as dead as you.

...It does all have a distinctly religious tone to it, though, I have to admit. Redemption. Walking through endless journeys until you learn something... I won't deny that.

You weren't religious in life?

You seem like the type who would have been.

I was a communist and a doctor. Religion... didn't suit either, to be honest.

But I always respected others' religion, and now I'm here, and living on after my own death, I do have to wonder.

I only really know about Judaism and Christianity, but I'm pretty sure neither of them had a mechanic quite like this one in the afterlife.

I don't know, it's probably not that important.

No, but religion is less about the technical facts, and more about belief. It's more important to believe in God, life after death, Jesus Christ than... whether Heaven has little angels with wings and harps.

Not always the impression I got of actual religious people, but how it struck me in the end.

It probably differs depending on who you ask. When I wanted people to think I was religious, I just wore a pin on my lapel of a dove, and changed literally nothing else about my behavior.

Strikes me as about accurate.

I think... people's faith, and true faith, is clearer when they're in my care than at any other time. Anyone can be a steadfast atheist, or a superficial believer in their day to day lives. When they're dying or suffering, they suddenly find faith they never had - or realise they never truly believed.

It makes sense. Deathbed devotion is probably the last chance for someone who's weak in faith to repent their sins, commit their souls to god, and get into heaven.

It shows a lack of commitment, though.

Having said that, I am the one actually in purgatory, so I am not sure I have room to talk.

If a lack of commitment is your biggest sin, then you probably don't need a deathbed conversion anyway.

Is that what you think this place is then? Purgatory?

I would rather die an honest atheist than a last minute believer.

No. At... where I'm from. I'm stuck. It's the closest thing to purgatory I can imagine.

Easy decision for an Atheist. It doesn't make any difference to you which you do.

You're stuck.

[Pause]

Is that what your deal is for then?

Except fear of death is a powerful thing.

No. My deal is to keep the boys safe. That's why I'm stuck in the first place. I never finished protecting them... I told you that whole story.

But if you really don't believe that anything comes after it, then surely a last minute conversion can't alleviate that fear.

Ah, yes. I remember. I guess if saving them releases you as well, then that's the sensible choice to make.

Probably not, but it might be a last minute hope, a last minute... covering your bases, so to speak.

I don't know whether it will. But I am an old man, they are young boys, and I have a duty to complete to them.

Not any more than baby ducks. Unless the Admiral wanted to eat them or something.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

24 Sulk sulk sulk

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Typos 4-Eva

Typo's are the acceptable cost for all those fascinating words!

no subject

no subject

Private

Private

no subject

Private

Re: Private

Private

Re: Private

Private

Re: Private

Private

Re: Private

Private

Re: Private

Re: Private

Re: Private

Private

Re: Private

no subject